Three Hoots (Hoot Suite?)

Something a little different in 2014. Hoot is a mini literary review. On a postcard. I thought that was great fun so I sent some stuff in and got three out of four of them....carded. They required MP3s of each, also, so GW's dulcets are available if you want to hear, as well as read, them. I just don't have the artwork here--they did one and it's on their site, which I will include. Diana Marye Huff, a friend and awesome artist did two, and they will be online on Hoot soon. Anyway, here are the three that were accepted:

Beatrixia Contraindications

Beatrixia is not for everyone.  Do not take Beatrixia if you are nursing, thinking about nursing, or taking a nursing course.  Talk to your doctor if suicidal, alcoholic or nursing.  Beatrixia may cause sudden death, lightheadedness, hallucinations, cold sores, smart talk to co-workers, simple CMS or Drupal in the more bizarre cases.  If you cannot pay for Beatrixia send for another copy of this information.  Do not take Beatrixia if you are depressive, bipolar, or display signs of chest congestion, or are under 12. Beatrixia is not a substitute for credibility deficit or mucilage.  If experiencing wistfulness, soul matrix or pre-mess-around symptoms, you're on your own as nobody will be able to help much.  Should you experience an erection lasting over four hours, well, this is, for some, great cause for celebration, yet compels some to call their doctors even if they aren't on a first name basis. 


The Filipino Yoyo Champion

Saturday, he stood on the corner by the movie theater manipulating a Duncan yoyo until he’d collected a crowd.  Then he opened a case of Duncan yoyos and sold them to the kids.  For an extra amount he would hand carve birds and intricate designs in the wooden yoyos, and he would show us how to do tricks.  He made us forget the cold war and the under-our-desk drills to evade radiation. I learned Walk The Dog but it scarred the finish near where he had carved a bird in a few deft flicks of his knife. I don't recall the movie, had to be a serial on Saturday, a western cliffhanger, but I remember every line of his dark face, a missing tooth in his ready smile, and the satin jacket he wore that said "Yoyo Champion, Manila" on the back with fancy sewing.


Tacky Stories

My uncle was a gambler and kept money in his shoe. We would drop my grandmother off at church on Sunday and she would tell him, "Now, Pete, don't tell him any tacky stories." And he would say "Okay, chief," which he always called his mother. Then we would drive downtown to Union Station and he would buy a copy of the Daily Racing Form, and place a bet with someone there by the magazine stand. He would then make notations in a small black book where he kept horses' names and statistics. He had a system, he said. "The tacky story," I would say, maybe pointing to his freshly scarred knuckles. He'd tell me all about a contretemps at The Blue Goose where he'd had to fight his way out. Then he'd gun the Lincoln Zephyr and say, "Want to see it fly?"

Here's Hoot's website--the yoyo art is up there now, and the other two will soon follow. Give 'em a hoot. It really is one:

And here are the vocals. Hear me Hoot: