A shifty, shiftless sort of review of three books. Four if you count American Rust. Five if you count The Horse's Mouth. But why would you?

I had to go into KC for a haircut, a fifty mile drive one way, so while there I do other stuff. Pick up bug bombs and floodlights at Ace. Books at Half-price books. Etc.

At the used book store, I listlessly combed the lit section. I had ordered American Rust from Amazon, and found my interest in it flagging after the third mention of fake wood in the doublewide trailer in the woods. I knew I would never finish that book, reviews not-effing-withstanding.

It should say (not for) right above the title...

It should say (not for) right above the title...

So I'm mainly picking aisles with no one in them, and just looking at titles, spines. In the Ps and Rs aisle. I slide a book by Pillip Roth off the shelf, a small black book. Can't go wrong with Roth, right? He's won every prize in the literary world, some twice. Wrong. You can go wrong with Roth. At least I can. I labored to page 73 in this slim 173-page book. Good God. It's title is Everyman. The main guy, probably Roth himself, has long periods of good health, then pow, gets hit with death's doorways opening wide, and the descriptions are like those old Christmas newsletters about some relative's gall bladder removal.

Like I said, I skidded to a stop at page 73. I have to think the protagonist is slamming bacon cheeseburgers and Manhattans every chance he gets and just not telling you. But he delights in the explanations of octuple bypass surgeries. Enough.

The second of three books I pulled from P through R was a Tom Robbins. Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates. I figured it would be kind of a mystical romp like that love story in a Camel package was (Another Roadside Attraction), or, at least, Jitterbug Perfume. A couple pages in and I find it's purportedly about an alcoholic, multi-addicted CIA agent in a wheelchair. His challenges are a bit of a stretch for me to follow. So I set this one aside. There's a slim chance I may pick it up again.

A note here: the little I read of it smacked of a very long redo of Joyce Cary's The Horse's Mouth, a classic from 1944. And didn't I just read a quickie review of something about a guy named Jernigan who, Gulley Jimson-like, drinks and bumps his way through a lot of bizarre behavior and funny business?

BUT one line from The Horse's Mouth, I must share: Jimson is failing, or in some kind of alcoholic seizure, and in an ambulance racing to a hospital, awakens to see a nun sitting beside him. She says something to quiet him, making him lie back down, and explains, "You're seriously ill, Mr. Jimson." To which he replies, "Not so seriously as you're well, sister."  It struck me as funny. Onward.

The third book, Chuck Palahniuk's novel titled Diary, snuck up on me; I was on page ten before I realized it. I laid it down and said, "That's more like it. Sumbitch can write."  But so can all those guys above. Why the ennui when it comes to their books I mentioned? Who knows? Preconceptions maybe. Although I can't imagine a day when I will reopen Everyman. Rust. Maybe Invalids, Tom Robbins and all. But I'm inclined to believe Diary's blurb now, from the LA Times: "Madly inventive...It simply, exuberantly, escapes literary categorization." Which, if you examine that, it may be saying it's not so hot. Exuberantly escaping something may not be high praise. And it may not be for everyman.

But I like it. Until next time. Best, GW.

Cleared for Takeoff.

It wasn't the Wheeler Downtown Airport then, it was The Airport. There wasn't any KCI. My sister had dropped out of OU in favor of a career seeing the world with Braniff. Pan American was flying high. TWA had a Kansas City presence in their training facility. I flew in and out of Kansas City at the Municipal Airport, hair-raising at times because if you overshot the landing strip, you went into the Missouri River.

Once, coming in for a Chiefs/Raiders game at the old downtown stadium, the plane seemed to veer erratically. The pilot got on the PA, said, "Sorry folks, a not very good airplane driver got into our flight path, he's gone now."

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We smoked on airplanes then. Had anyone told me there would be no smoking aboard aircraft (or practically anywhere else, for that matter) I'd have laughed. Such a regulation was inconceivable. Air travel was customer-oriented, too. Pillows, drinks galore, any little request was considered. That pendulum has swung so far the other way it's off the pivot. But we know these things. Why bother. To be fair, one or two airlines still seem to be motivated by the old values of customer-centricity, as much as they can be under current conditions. Southwest, for one. They're at least civil.

Well, the airport. What do I care about it? It has been a leitmotif in my life since I was a teen. My old man worked there as an air traffic controller, back in the days of the CAA, then the FAA. He was in that blocklike tower. Nothing against my old man, I loved him, but often in mid-conversation, he would begin humming and his eyes indicated his mind was far away. His pipe would go out. I wondered if he ever drifted during traffic control. Probably not. He was glued to the radar and forced to concentrate. He was not happy in his work, a condition endemic to his colleagues in mid-air dominion. A bumper sticker on his MG-TC said "Air Traffic Controllers Never Have a Nice Day."

When they tore the old tower down it was discovered it was insulated with asbestos. By that time, I was working at the downtown airport myself, having returned from Los Angeles and a few years with Saatchi & Saatchi Advertising. The airport was being taken over by VML, a growing agency. I tried to convince them to allow my little group to inhabit the empty control tower, and was given some consideration, but it was not to be. It seemed natural that I would end up working in the same building as my father. Perhaps smoking a pipe and drifting in my thoughts. But I was spared the daily exposure to asbestos and the class action suit the TV lawyers recommend.

When I started with VML we were a ragged dozen or so. Now the employees number in the thousands and occupy offices in cities everywhere on the globe. Seventeen years later It took a POD storage container to move my office to my home in Resume Speed, KS. And that was the end of my airport adventure.

George Blanda and The Mad Bomber...

George Blanda and The Mad Bomber...

Rewind, back up to that Raiders/Chiefs game. The Raiders won that Sunday. Daryl Lamonica, the Raiders quarterback (The Mad Bomber) was injured and George Blanda took his place tying the game with a touchdown pass. In the final three seconds he kicked a 48-yard field goal to win the game. Blanda. A giant talent who played until he was 48.

The next morning when I flew out of the downtown airport, I had breakfast with a cocky and cool Raiders team at the Four Winds Restaurant there, a Joe Gilbert business. I was (and am) a Chiefs fan, but that morning I have to admit to a certain respect, awe, for this outlaw team of penalty-prone profligates. They were on either side of me at the counter, and their mood was infectious. They'd beaten the league-leading Chiefs with their old man.

They flew out on a different plane, and I was soon back in the air, looking down at a building I never dreamed would be my workplace at the other end of my advertising career. My dad was in the tower that day watching my blip, clearing the air ahead of us. He couldn't warn us of the turbulent years ahead.

 

.

The Swashbuckler Chronicles, Part 2. (The Paterfamilias)

Tim, sorting cattle at his Falling T Ranch, Elmer, MO

Tim, sorting cattle at his Falling T Ranch, Elmer, MO

Cattle rancher Tim Trabon has shared things with me over the years. So has printing entrepreneur Tim Trabon. As has adventurer Tim Trabon. His hat rack holds sweatbanded Stetsons, a red watch cap from Jaques Cousteau, a worn boonie hat, a beekeeper's mesh helmet, a Borsalino fedora, probably a pith helmet -- many other hats, many passions, many goals achieved. He sets his cap, so to speak, and off he goes. To conquer another world.

Tim's dad, somewhere in the South Pacific and happy to be there.

Tim's dad, somewhere in the South Pacific and happy to be there.

He comes by it through DNA and by way of books and dreams and happenstance. To paraphrase Lew Grizzard's book title, his daddy was a pistol, he's a son of a gun.

His father's parents emigrated from Sicily to New Orleans, where Tim's father Mike Trabon was born in 1907. The family moved to Rosedale, and at age 13, Mike was arrested for allegedly stealing a tire. He learned the printing trade in reform school, and left Tim a Heidelberg letterpress when he passed away. It was with this basement find that Trabon Printing began.

In his teens, Mike hopped a freight train and took off for Mexico where he was apprehended by authorities and sent home. He had a tattoo of bull on his forearm when he returned. The local priest stopped his father from beating the boy, stating, "the tattoo is not a bad thing. It'll make it easier to identify his body some day."

Mike deserves a book, but a few facts bring him into focus. He was court martialed three times; once when he broke a drill sergeant's jaw for beating an enlisted man, once for appropriating a general's beef and whiskey stash and throwing a party, and finally, when an island had been evacuated, all but thirteen men (including Mike) due to an expected Japanese invasion, he was told to defend the island. He laughed at that order.

Mike liked Harleys too. But he was no angel.

Mike liked Harleys too. But he was no angel.

Mike's brother Jim, Tim's uncle, was a motorcycle cop and one of the principals in the KC Star headline, "Two Brothers Involved in Shootings, the Same Day." Jim stopped a carful of Ma Barker's gang and barely dodged a shotgun blast, while Mike was seriously wounded in a "political argument" in a restaurant on 31st Street. This was in the 1930's. Mike survived to travel through the South Pacific with an 8mm movie camera shortly before WWII. One wonders if he was on his own, or working for a precursor of the OSS.

One piece of black and white footage shows a native ceremony with Mike in the middle. A procession of women dance toward him, laying woven mats on the ground where he sits. Years later Tim participated in a Kava ceremony on one of the Fiji islands and he mentioned the footage, asked what it may have been. The native said it was a marriage ceremony, and said "I knew you looked familiar!" This revelation led Tim to believe his old man was married more than the three times he admitted to.

Tim with "Pirate of the Caribbean" Bert Kilbride, diver in The Deep, Playboy bunny wife stunt dove for Bissett.

Tim with "Pirate of the Caribbean" Bert Kilbride, diver in The Deep, Playboy bunny wife stunt dove for Bissett.

Tim describes his Fiji Island Kava ceremony: "We sat in a circle, the head man dipped a wooden bowl in a larger bowl that contained a muddy liquid made from pounding Kava roots. It was their version of beer. It had a peppery taste and made your lips go numb. He would fill the little bowl, extend it to a man in the circle, everyone would clap their hands together once. You would take the bowl, drink all the liquid and everyone would clap three times. It would start again. The bowl would be passed to each man ten or twelve times." We tried to emulate the ceremony at various Westport bars and pool-table roadhouses in our misspent youth. It wasn't quite as organized but the results were much the same. It made our lips go numb.

Tim's wanderlust and quest for adventure are quite understandable in the context of geneology. And the fine craft of printing was part of the heritage. My own forebears ran guns to Mexico, chased people with swordcanes and roughnecked in the oil fields of Louisiana. They lived. As did Tim's father. Fully

White Noise. A Rev (the first half of Review).

My favorite of 15 or 20 covers for this book that I've seen...

My favorite of 15 or 20 covers for this book that I've seen...

Don DeLilio writes, in White Noise, like Dylan Thomas writes in Child's Christmas in Wales. Gently. Beautifully. For the child in us. And with the glowing eyes and snuffing sounds in the dark forest where we dare not go, where dragons be. I'm reading it slowly, like something delectable that one would like to have endure until one was gorged, at least sated. A hot fudge sundae. The book was written in 1985, and it was read by most of the literate world, judging by all the different covers the book has had. I missed it. Or got it mixed up with White Oleander, which I can't remember reading, but must have since it's on my shelves with hundreds of other books. So when the opportunity arose to acquire White Noise, I did, while in a corner of my mind, thinking I may already have this book.

It was only a few days ago in Half Price Books, after an unsuccessful foray to satisfy a list of authors I wanted. None available. I slid two DeLilo books off the shelf, this one and a short story collection, something Esmeralda, I think. 

I tried to read a DeLilo a couple of years ago with the title Point Omega and my eyes glazed over. I recall a scene where someone is watching "Psycho" in an art museum but it's been slowed down to 24 hours. Okay. Could have been interesting. But the book's pace was like that. Waaayyy too intellectual for my tastes. I'd rather go to a rock fight. Less painful. It must have won a Pulitzer because most of those I've encountered the last few years have made me feel like I didn't get the joke, that I was so far behind in class that, once discovered, I'd be drummed out, epaulettes ripped off, possibly canewhipped.

Back to White Noise. There's a wonderful scene where the protagonist, Jack Gladney, has promoted a Hitler Studies department in his small college, sort of a job security device, and he's the head of it. He can't even speak German. At any rate, a colleague, Siskind, is doing something similar with pop culture and Elvis. He sidles into Gladney's yearly Hitler conference and begins to make observations about Elvis, which Gladney counters with Hitler trivia. It's a veritable dueling banjos scene. What fun!

Gladney's Garp-like house is full of ex-wives, almost too precocious children of several marriages, clutter, a wife who is rather fun and kind, eighties discussions of death, snippets from TV's white noise and purposely burnt toast. It's a happy place. Then comes the toxic event. And that's where I am now. So this is not a review, it's only half of one. I suppose it's a iew, which is the latter half of review. But it's the former half of the book. Maybe a rev?

And I may never share the latter half with you, such is the zigzag meander of my mind. But thanks for reading.