Silos are for farming, poetry month has its control freaks, dressing up for biking, what’s your OPS, take me into the ballgame and much more…

  Corporate Jargoneers

Circle back to this, low-hanging fruits…then leverage that dang silo, if you have the bandwidth…

It was a rant. A long one. I dumped it because who really cares. It contained all the circling back, leveraging, silos, swim lanes etc etc ad nauseum and I do mean nauseum. In the end I didn’t want to tire you with this perversion of communication—I want you to come back for the next blog, and the next one. You’re friends. Advertising, an otherwise decent profession, seems to attract these jargonistas and I wish I’d been ready for one who asked me if I had any bandwidth about 15 years ago;

“Oh, you mean the difference between the upper and lower frequencies in a continuous band of frequencies? If measured in units of hertz? I don’t think so. Have you consulted IT?”

But no. I just said “Huh?”

My great-grandfather was wont to say, I’m told, that if a person used profanity it simply meant that person was illiterate.

He might have modified that statement to include Corporate Jargoneers and their BS inventions as well.

  

Poetry Month

April. Stuff turning green out there. Overnight. Budding. I’ve spied bees on the warmer days. No hummingbirds yet.

Leaves me kinda breathless…

How the owls and squirrels made it through that horrible fifty below zero stretch I don’t know, but they did. The same squirrels that tease my dogs by acting as if they don’t notice them, then leap onto their tree at the last split second. Inspiration.

Poetry. Read some. Write some. I recommend Ada Limon. Kooser and Collins. I’m re-reading Leaves of Grass by grandmaster Whitman.

It has been suggested, to honor Poetry Month’s 30th day, that you carry a poem in your pocket, to share. Here’s a link with all the info on that. Warning: it’s gotten rather top-heavy but there are some fun ways to participate. For my part, I’ll recommend George Bilgere’s daily site which is now habit with me; he shares a poem he likes, daily, and then comments on it. I never miss his poem a day all year, mainly for his wry comments. (Link) Maybe it’ll become your habit, too.

Happy Poetry Month.

 

A Primer on Motorcycles

Dennis (I don’t know his last name) is a Morgan dealer in Colorado, and every now and then I get his latest offerings of new and reconstituted Morgans. Beauties. Unaffordable, I’m sure. But, this time he sent a couple of items on The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride, a cousin, no doubt, of TROG (The Race of Gentlemen).

First, I’ll share the style guide for this; it’s short and informative. (Link)

And, then, the ride itself which has raised millions for men’s health. 60M so far. There’s a fun video and info. (Link) The event is in May, and male or female, you are invited. It’s worldwide. Get them scooters tuned up and ready. Looks like a blast.

Then there’s TROG. Everyone should know about this. (Link)

 

Here’s some Life Advice

I chanced across this nugget a week ago and it lightened my day considerably. Lorem ipsum always does. I won’t say who did this “oops” because they are usually quite proper—and it wasn’t an April Fool’s item either. It was well after that date. So I googled it.

(“Based on available information, there is no evidence that (shall remain nameless) published "lorem ipsum" placeholder text as actual life advice on purpose.”)

But I loved it. And embrace it as wholeheartedly as I do all Internet Life Advice.

 

Speaking of Jargon

When did MLB sportscasters start using the term “OPS,” anyway? I heard it when F was driving me somewhere yesterday, and she quite nicely allowed me to listen to sports talk on 610. For once they weren’t assessing the trades and salary cap difficulties of the KC Chiefs, but discussing the Royals.

The guy kept mentioning the OPS of a certain player and I asked her to ask her phone what the heck that was. No intelligible answer from Siri.

I do listen to the occasional game on radio when in the car and am able to translate the sounds and the commentary into a pretty passable mind picture. I get into it. The lulls, the action, the broadcaster’s comments on the batter, always interesting. And there’s a quickening of pulse when I hear that unmistakable “Craack!” (Go, Salvy)

Anyway, OPS. I looked it up. It’s Lorem Ipsum to me, but here ya go: I’m sending you to Wikipedia (Link) because there are so many explanations out there that it’s kind of dizzying. OPS is a reachy initialism for On base Plus Slugging and it basically combines a player’s ability to reach base, with their power, with a league-average OPS usually between .700 and .750. Good luck. Bring a calculator.

 

  Gasoline downer

The price of gas has brought more lowlifes out of the woodwork; they are now drilling tanks and stealing gas (Link) creating a triple whammy; first, the empty reading on your gauge when you thought you had half a tank. Second, you’ve got just enough to get to the gas station, but when you fill, it runs all over the concrete. Third, insurance costs. IF they take care of it. But with deductible, probably not—there goes a grand for repair.

 

Lifeguard!

Didn’t mean to cause a funk with that gas item, just beware is all, and wary.

This’ll lift your spirits. Lifeguard stations with color and panache. A Miami architectural firm designed these delightfully quirky towers for your “Life’s a beach” pleasure. Let’s see; got a good book, sun block, RayBans, Yeti cooler. Think I’ll set up over by that magic mid-century little pastel house. (Link)

 

  Playing the slide shovel

And that’s it for April. I will leave you with music. My advice to myself, when all else is confusing, leave ‘em with music. Here’s the offering for now: it’s the video for the saying, “That guy could play a shovel.” Here’s the link. He’s got a handle on the slide action, too.

  May the rest of your April be blessed. And the year, too. XXOOO G-man